Don't Count Me Out Just Yet
by starlesscity
Summary: "You're supposed to be dead," he whispers, his hand gripping so tightly to the fabric that Naruto can feel his shirt wrinkling beyond hope. Modern(ish)AU SasuNaru.


**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Not ever. Just having fun for the hell of it. No profit. No nothing. Etcetc.

 **Full Summary:** "You're supposed to be dead," he whispers, his hand gripping so tightly in the fabric that Naruto can feel his shirt wrinkling beyond hope.

 **Pairing List:** Sasuke/Naruto

 **Beta:** Unavailable at the moment.

 **A/N:** I have had this sitting randomly in a throwaway file on my computer for years. I was too tired to write something new so started clicking through all fanfic works that were half completed, unedited, or barely started. I saw this one was more or less complete if untidy and decided to clean it up. I'm still not a hundred percent happy with it, but I figured, "eh" and that I'd post it anyway. It also gives me my post for 2015. Enjoy.

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 _Don't Count Me Out Just Yet_

The bar is dirty and has the darkness from too few lights shadowing the corners. This is not to say the bar cannot afford the illumination, but rather, it knows its cliental would prefer to do their business away from prying eyes. The table Naruto sits at is in once such hidden corner. He likes sitting unobserved, uninterrupted, and unimportant in the back of the room. Naruto half-smiles; it's a fry cry from the person he was five years ago. He doesn't like to imagine what the people from that life would think, seeing him now. The more he thinks about them, the more he wants to go back and the more it hurts knowing that he can't.

Swirling the alcohol in his shot glass, Naruto starts to feel his impatience mimic the motion, coming closer to finding its way over the brim of his control. He puts the glass down with irritation not caring at the spill of liquid the abrupt motion causes. He isn't going to drink it anyway; it's really just for appearance.

He's here to kill time before he crosses the road and goes into a slightly more reputable establishment and talks about doing completely _dis_ reputable things with underworld figures. He slinks further back into the shadows and scowls. He always knew his actions could land him in trouble, he just hadn't realised they could cause something like _this_. Hindsight always was a bitch and he'd wished he'd listened to Iruka's soft chastisements a little more.

He has Kakashi now who is much more specific in his warnings. _Your behaviour is childish. You have thrown yourself into this existence and if you don't want everyone in your life to die because of your foolishness, you will do as I tell you._

The fact that he tells Naruto this when he's in the back of a helicopter being airlifted to fuck knows where but definitely nowhere in Konoha with a bullethole in his chest should really have prepared him for what was happening.

It hadn't.

He'd only known Kakashi in the vaguest sense before that. Kakashi was government while Naruto had been police. They'd never really mixed or liked one another back then. But now he's playing the government's long game and working undercover. He's sinking down into the dirt so he can flush out the toxins from the inside of criminal decay. Or something like that.

Kakashi's team is better at wording it. They're better at lot of things, like managing to detach themselves from everything, to immerse themselves into drug rings and handle bags of cocaine like they're flour. He goes to run a hand across his face but stops, growling and running it through his hair instead. He can't touch his face because he has _makeup_ on, constantly, hiding his scars from sight.

"I have to stop," he growls at himself. He has to stop thinking about _Naruto_ and draw up _Nagami_. Nagami the _asshole_. Nagami, the guy you go to because he loves everything illegal and morally deplorable. Who doesn't care about innocent teachers, about having caring friends who mourn you or about working with and having a sarcastic, stuck up jerk for a best friend.

Nagami hates cops and never spends his whole life dreaming to become one…

Naruto contemplates hitting his head against a table. He usually isn't this bad. It's just… he's normally not this close to home either. Konoha is only two towns away and it makes something deep in his chest tug at him. He wants to go home, see familiar streets, familiar faces… he's sick of living out of a wired apartment in Suna, pretending to be Nagami whose working for Gaara; the guy who seems like he's never lived a life _not_ undercover.

He wants to get out of here.

Naruto checks his watch and feels like twitching out of his skin; another ten minutes. He runs a hand through his hair again and looks at the liquor in front of him. He considers tipping it out, dabbing a bit on his collar first and then ordering another one for the sake of looking less like he's…brooding. _Does that mean Sasuke might be smiling somewhere?_

He squeezes his eyes shut. Sasuke was the one person he couldn't afford to think about. The man he'd been solving crimes with for years, his partner and best friend. The person he was still in love with. The person who had shot him. Pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, he tries to push the thoughts away.

He's so intent on the action that he almost doesn't hear the door open, and for a split-second, he thinks he's imagining it when a familiar voice demands, "Club soda and I want it poured in front of me."

But the place isn't crowded and any conversation that is happening is hushed. Naruto has also picked a good vantage point and has always had sharp ears. He also never mistakes, never misses that voice in a room. Naruto's eyes snap open to look at the bar only to stares with disbelief and get hit with a wave of longing that makes him grip the table with one hand.

Sasuke Uchiha is sitting on a stool, his back to Naruto but his hair and his posture just the same. He's overdressed for this kind of place and receives a few curious glances but no one looks too hard when you're in a location like this. But Naruto does - he can't tear his eyes away.

Sasuke shifts suddenly and looks around the room; Naruto presses himself further against the wall. Cursing himself internally for what he just did. It was a stupid decision and he can't afford to draw Sasuke attention, but he still finds it's worse than looking at a train wreck. He can't take his eyes from the other.

He looks older, Naruto realizes. It's not really noticeable but Naruto has worked cases that went on for months with Sasuke, he looks like he's not sleeping well. Sasuke gave the appearance of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders but it looks like he's added a few more planets to his collection. He still seems on edge too even when he turns back to watch his drink getting poured. Naruto forces himself to look at the table, to finger the grooves someone's carved into it rather than stare at the other man. He's already having trouble swallowing all the bubbling emotion inside him. _Get a fucking grip and get out of here! You can't go over and talk to him and you can't be discovered. So just get out and forget-the-fuck-about it._

Taking a deep breath, Naruto nods to himself and shifts, getting ready to stand and leave, but when he looks up it's to find Sasuke has left the bar and is _halfway towards his table_. Naruto panics. _No, no, no, no shitshit!_ When the fuck did Sasuke start approaching strangers in bars? Naruto wishes he could run or had a way to escape, but that is _not what Nagami does_ and people could be watching.

He flicks his eyes around, searching for something that could get him out of the situation but there's nothing. In the end, he barely has time to snatch his drink back into his hand and try and absorb himself into shadows.

Sasuke grabs the chair opposite him and pulls it to the side so that when he sits he's keeping the door and the room in his line of sight. It's so very Sasuke that it makes Naruto want to do something ridiculous. Like hug him.

"You're staring at me. Why?" His eyes and voice are hard and years of instinct make Naruto want to get under his skin.

He wages a war with himself internally but knows he has no other choice. He adopts Nagami's accent; it's a rasp the working-class men from Suna tend to inherit from too much time breathing in sand. He adds the arrogance Nagami is known for - that Naruto knows it's too much like Sasuke's own, but he was the person he _modeled_ it off, damn it. He says something outlandish and vulgar like Nagami would and is pleased when he only cringes internally over what he says. "You're pretty enough to be a whore, was wonderin' if you were still on duty. I could make it worth ya while."

Sasuke's gaze turns to pure ice. Naruto realizes he's almost missed the look, even if he's never received it so harshly before. It was almost gratifying to know he'd been right and had never truly been hated by Sasuke.

Well, the bullet had given him pause. Nice to know Kakashi had proven it was an accident.

"I suggest you enquire no further."

Naruto gives a small grin. "Dunno. Think you could be interestin' under all that pissed off shit."

Something flickers through Sasuke's eyes and it makes the smile on Naruto's face falter. Sasuke looks confused, wistful and suspicious all at once before he hardens even further. "Your attention could be much better spent improving your speech."

He bristles and responds without thought, smoothing his voice to something that resembles Gaara. He usually only uses it with the higher ups in the drug-rings, they _like_ that he is underestimated by the thugs. They _like_ the idea that Nagami is a fucking rat for them. "Don't be so quick to judge on appearance alone."

Sasuke frowns and Naruto barely has time to think _shit_ before a hand is snapping out and gripping his black dress-shirt and yanking him into the light. Naruto's hair is black now and the movement makes strands fall over his forehead. He has contacts in too give him brown eyes too and he's slimmer having got leaner from running – everywhere, all the time – and with his scars hidden by makeup he knows he looks _nothing_ like the man he was. Sasuke's eyes still widen all the same and shock and pain and confusion and _hope_ shin on the Uchiha's face.

"You're supposed to be dead," he whispers, his hand gripping so tightly to the fabric that Naruto can feel his shirt wrinkling beyond hope.

Naruto knows he needs to deny it, to play into his role and _lielielie_ but gone is the Sasuke of before and in his place sits a man who is much older and much more broken. He isn't daring Naruto to prove him wrong, his begging him to prove him right. Sasuke has always been the one person he couldn't refuse.

"Yeah, funny about that."

Sasuke yanks him closer, his eyes furious and his words a strangled hiss out of his mouth. "I watched you die. I fucking _shot_ you and couldn't get there in time and I'm told that you're _dead_." _That I killed you_ ; it goes unsaid but for the raw agony in Sasuke's eyes.

The hand clasping him is shaking slightly and the rest of Sasuke is too. Naruto wants to pull him into his arms and never let go. Which would never - could never happen - even before this. It doesn't stop him from desiring it - from wanting to kiss and curl into the other and have a moment when the world isn't so completely _fucked_ because he has his best friend - but, no, Sasuke was never the hugging type. Definitely not the 'kissing Naruto' type either. He barely holds in a grimace at the thoughts crossing his mind. He makes himself stay still while trying for another, more tentative smile. "If it helps, I did want to tell you."

The thing is he's not lying. He had fought for it while he was still in recovery, but he hadn't been able to sway anyone. He'd been shoved undercover instead, not meant to be alive or discovered as such for as long as Kakashi decreed. The Agent doesn't care that he's leaving behind the man who owns his heart or the teacher who adopted him as a child and was the closest thing he has to a parent.

Kakashi only cares that in ten minutes from now Naruto is becoming involved in horribly illegal things in the bar across the road and will make a thorough report so that they can eventually crush the organization into dust. Kakashi cares about the job. Naruto cares about his best friend who looks seconds away from shooting him again he's so furious.

Sasuke proves his anger by shaking Naruto fiercely. "Why the fuck did you do it! Why did you-" He chokes down the words and draws Naruto close, snarling into his face. "You fucking _asshole_."

It's usually Naruto's line and Sasuke does tend to bring out the petulant child in him, yet before he could respond to it – ' _you're the one who shot me, you bastard_ ' - Sasuke's mouth is against his; hot and desperate and a little bit broken. Naruto startles, but not enough that he doesn't kiss him back just as hungrily.

He doesn't know how long it lasts, just that by the end his hands are in Sasuke's hair and his lips are bruised and a small mewling sound escapes his mouth by the time they pull apart. It almost hurts to look at Sasuke in those few seconds when common sense returns and Naruto has to go back in that little box Kakashi taught him to make.

"I can't, Sasuke." He tells his friend who looks ready to forcibly drag him back to Konoha. Naruto leans forward and rests their foreheads together. "I'm," here his lips twitch bitterly, "dead for a good reason."

Sasuke's gaze narrows and he pulls back, eyeing Naruto shrewdly with his mask already firmly slotted back in place. His frustration is the only emotion visible by the clench of his hands now dropped from Naruto and resting on the table. "You're on a mission."

"Well," Naturo flashes out the smile Sasuke always calls his 'fox grin'. "That would be telling."

"Who else knows about this?" Sasuke demands. "Who else knows you're _alive_?"

Naruto shakes his head sadly. "I can't tell you that, Sasuke."

"I'm your fucking _partner_ ," Sasuke snarls. "What have they got you doing?"

"Sasuke," Naruto sighs, feeling like no time has passed between them at all. "You're not supposed to ask these questions."

"Does it look like I give a fuck?"

Naruto can't help grinning. Sasuke looks like a brightly burning star; all vengeful and gorgeous. This time, Naruto kisses him. They both melt into the touch and while it starts out like a battle, it changes in the middle to something soft and painful. Aching. They had both spent three years missing the other and even longer desiring something they'd never been brave enough to reach for.

Breaking apart was one of the hardest things Naruto had ever needed to do, but his phone was vibrating a warning of the time in his pocket, and it was too dangerous to be seen kissing a cop. He presses his cheek to Sasuke's and breathes in the surprisingly floral scent of his hair. His time was running out and Kami, he didn't even _know_ if this would be the last time, the _only_ time they got to express even half of what their complicated relationship was - what it could be, but he had no choice.

"I have to go, Sasuke," he whispers.

Sasuke stiffens against him. "No."

He almost laughs. "I really can't stay."

"You can," he even manages to sound serious rather than petulant. Sasuke never did have trouble disregarding anything he doesn't like when the moment suits him. But they also both know Naruto will stubbornly never give up on his duty.

He pulls back and Sasuke barely lets him. They stare at each other for a long moment.

"I didn't plan it," Naruto blurts. "People… I. If it hadn't happened that way, I would have been killed, for real. This gave an edge that was… useful."

It was way too much information, but Sasuke, the bastard, didn't look impressed at the attempt.

"I am going to get involved in this investigation," he vows.

"You don't even know what it is."

"I will force Tsunade to tell me what she knows."

"That sounds awfully like you're going to interrogate the Chief of Police, Sasuke."

The look on his face says he's going to do more than that if he doesn't get the answers he wants. Naruto shakes his head, amusement fading. "She doesn't know anything."

The words get a frown and Naruto can see the gears turning behind Sasuke's eyes before he articulates slowly, "This isn't a matter with the police."

"I can't tell you, Sasuke."

"I'm going to figure this out."

Something in Naruto loosens that he had never even realised was knotted. "Of course you will, you bastard."

A half smirk flickers over Sasuke face. It's the last thing Naruto allows himself to see before he slips away from the other and to the bathroom. He needs to fix his makeup before he goes across the street.

When he's back to being _Nagami_ and walks out into the bar once more, Sasuke has already vanished. Naruto's smile breaks through his mask for a brief moment before he hides it. He wonders when he'll be seeing Sasuke again, and just how pissed off Kakashi will be when it happens.

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 **A/N:** Okay, so, a _very_ short story from me. As I said, not super happy with it, but not irritated enough to bin it either. Let me know what you think either way :)


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